this is so weird. this is the second post of the day but on the other hand, i always do this. so its not that weird after all.
playing back old death cab songs really brings back good memories. those days were seriously much better. let me give you a brief idea what my life back then in sec 1 and 2 was like...
after school. it was tennis all the way. i would make my way straight to the tennis courts in school (geylang bahru campus back then), and start hitting around till 5 odd? and back then, there was still the dessert stall which sold 70 cents ice jelly. the best treat after tennis with james, song gay and wee howe.
if there was no tennis, it would be straight home, switched on the old computer which died one day for no apparent reason and i would start playing all my favourite songs. oh, and i stopped playing computer games back then already. haha, actually, not completely but it was stopping.
it was death cab for cutie everyday.
well, when sec 3 came, i still listen to death cab alright, but half way through the year, that computer died and gnepland became inactive for quite a long while.
okay, i dont know why im repeating myself all over again. i always do that. i will always reminisce about my lower secondary school days and start typing them down here. i bet there are at least 10 of the same post in this blog.
something fresh here now.
the other day, i had this semi-suicidal thought.
i was sitting down and i started day-dreaming. like i thought about this, "what is really present after life? what will be offered to you after life?" you might be thinking to yourself now, ahh, what bullcrap. common questions. yeah, common they might seem but there's never an answer to them.
so i thought about it. i have no religion even though im a little closer to christianity but there are times where i go into this atheist fit or become a christianity critic for like a moment or so. however, they are times where i really pray to God (capital here to respect him). so i'm a little confuse here. i'm probably on God's black list or something.
yeah, so i was wondering where will i be after life. i know for buddhism or taoism, there's no such thing as heaven first. you first go through hell, suffer through it for all the wrong doings on earth and then you get reincarnated? for christianity, you go to the purgatory and St Peter or Patrick will be there? to decide whether you go to hell or heaven.
technically, im no where.
to be honest, when i was young, my family was towards buddhism or rather my siblings and i were compelled to go through all the hassle of going to temples. inevitably, i became a buddhist since there is no baptism of any sort in buddhism. however, every morning in st andrews, i would be singing christian hymns. so, its pretty messed up.
when secondary school came, i was induced into the whole christianity wave and even attended some churches. it was a passing phase though. i soon became like what i am now. free thinker.
so back to the point of semi-suicidal thought. yeah, so i thought of jumping out of the window.
i really didnt know i was doing. probably an overload of tok? the thought of family and friends really put that dumb random thought to an end and i started doing my work.
the mind is a powerful tool.
sometimes i get lost in my own thoughts. and that is really very scary but not as scary as my promos in 2 weeks time.
