very upset with myself now. why did i choose the breakup. just came from a night at zouk of drinking. wasnt very wise of me. i shouldnt have done it. i am tearing as i am writing this. why have i chose it. should i continue to heed ccm's advice. he's always been right and in long run, the breakup may by the right choice but right now, its killing me. i dont know.
people always say to decide by my heart but ccm is always more rational than i do. i am lost. i know i am not independent and i am needy of one. but rach is with another. this sounds really stupid. oh well, let me get over this. i know rach thinks im over her or just really upset and does not trust me for all the hurtful stuff that i have acted upon her. i dont know why i did that. i was scared but now, i am not. it is so stupid that i did it.
