Am I incapable of caring for another, rendered off all human decencies or am I just dead selfish? I find myself leading a listless life at times, running down the clock to complete tasks of the never-ending rat race at the expense of my significant other. In some perverse manner, I, a fervent devotee of habits, do enjoy it- this soul sucking ritual but, at times it can be too much, too much.

Layering this ritual is a profession that prides itself for its altruistic nature. If only this job does not have to deal with proper humanly problems, perhaps, it makes it easier for one to care less. Don't get me wrong, there is always a sliver of redemption like a small compliment from others in the job akin to tortured dog wagging its tail gleefully for a dry scrap. 

I put up an enabled and confident front when challenged at work, but when the sunsets and the work veil peels off, an empty shell is revealed. This shell is disorganised and retreats in a rout when threatened. Unfortunately, only the closest one sees this and feels the cold. Maybe I have assimilated too well with the vocation that I have become this vacuum for human traits, enjoying that as I wish and chucking them aside when done. I am terribly sorry. 

I am Icarus whose pride led to his literal downfall except I have reached terminal velocity and am still falling. 

This is the dark side of the job or maybe I need to up this computer light to complete my midnight power-point slide. fml.